Parent-to-Parent: It Takes a Village
by LG Shanklin-Flowers
I had been preparing for this day her entire life.
At the time, nearly nineteen years earlier, Davita-Christine was born 7 weeks premature at 3 lbs/10 oz. Even then, she was perfect, determined, and ready for adventure. I knew in that moment that it was our job to love her completely, ensure her safety and create opportunities for her to be close to family and friends while she explored a welcoming world.
The African proverb, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ became our mantra. Within a month of her homecoming she spent a weekend with her aunt and uncle. She began Highland Community School, a Montessori program, at twenty seven months through eighth-grade and pursued creative writing at Milwaukee’s High School of the Arts. She became the only one of her peer group to attend overnight camps, spent spring breaks and a month each summer in the Rockies with her cousins, flying there as an unaccompanied minor beginning at age six. She actively participated in community service and leadership development experiences throughout her youth and teen years. She also actively pursued sports, community-theater, social justice action groups and involvement as a young leader in an international peer counseling community. Her dreams of college life from Hawaii to Virginia took her far away from home and her various career aspirations ranging from veterinarian, school teacher, artist, Egyptologist, and marine biologist were ‘relaxedly’ encouraged and supported.
College selection came faster than anticipated. A whirlwind of college fairs, internet searches and campus visits offered many opportunities and challenges. It became clear that a small sized liberal arts institution was a better match. Though we had family and friends living in Minneapolis, we were unaware of Macalester, a mere 6 hours west of Milwaukee. A Mac professor and former Multicultural Director mentioned in passing that they thought she was a perfect Mac student: social activist, community centered, independent minded with an international perspective. A visit to the Mac website, participation in a spring sampler and a fall interview resulted in Davita’s decision to only apply to Macalester College. It was a high risk move and she knew what she wanted. The village waited in anticipation and celebrated once she received her acceptance letter.
As we pulled onto Macalester Street with the Corrine Bailey Ray song, ‘In my mother’s house’ playing in the background, I began to cry with Davita quickly joining me. We were beginning a new journey together. We were entering another welcoming community. Quickly unpacking the car with the great assistance of Mac returning students, we met her new roommate and her mom, helped set up their dorm room, and did last minute shopping. We attended parent orientation, took a tour of the campus, met with her freshman advisor as well as an Assistant Dean regarding disability services which offers additional support for Mac students with learning disabilities. And to my surprise, her only request was that I stay in town for a week, just in case she needed her mommie. What a relief!
Davita is now a sophomore, having successfully navigated her freshman year. She identified her major (environmental studies with a minor in biology, is learning the bag pipe, and is currently in training as a RA (residential assistance) on a freshman floor. Mac is now a part of the village of communities and individuals who have embraced and surrounded our daughter with love and support. I know that Davita will continue to flourish in Mac’s attentive environment and that Macalester is a better place for having her there.